When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I party with great urgency now.
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