Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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