I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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