well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
