I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
