How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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