oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
