You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
