I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
