cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
