That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
