You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
