After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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