U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
