I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think weed is turning my hair brown
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
