I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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