U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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