addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
