nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Blood and glitter go together right?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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