Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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