What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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