I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
