Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
