this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
