Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
