she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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