She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
