so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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