she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
