buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
