Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
