i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I touched a dick in church today
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
