I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
