I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
