already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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