I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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