At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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