Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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