I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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