I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
