dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You are the jesus of drinking
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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