Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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