$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
