This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
