i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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