none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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