If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
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After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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