My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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