i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
