sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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