oh god the rape fog is back!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
