I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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