Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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