Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My vagina is officially offended.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
