bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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